Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
