And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
