No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
