Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
