You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am naked and annoyed.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
