You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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