He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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