And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
