Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
