My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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