I'm gonna have a badass scar
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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