I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
