It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
