i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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