It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
