WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The best revenge is premature balding
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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