Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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