i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize