the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
