Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize