They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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