Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
