thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
