ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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