please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize