So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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