So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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