yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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