He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
