im drinking this country out of the recession.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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