3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's blow job season.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
