once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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