I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
