Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
