The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dicks are not precious.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize