so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
