Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
