Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
3 2 1 whiskey
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
