I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
