Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i would punch a child for taco bell
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
