Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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