The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
