they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
