just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize