Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dicks are not precious.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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