I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
