Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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