There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
