I bet he comes in French.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
