Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
