Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
