Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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