the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
