her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
