you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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