My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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