She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
