how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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