I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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