i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
