Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
