only if we run a train.
done.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
