I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
