is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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