she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
