He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
