I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
God I need to hump something, right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
