Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
