The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I woke up under a house in Key West
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